An illustrated guide just in time for Valentine’s Day.
1. As a flower novice, I wanted to gain some confidence when buying flowers. So after a bit of research, I drew these nine awesome flowers along with a visually similar item that helps me remember each.
If you want a flower that vaguely resembles Epcot Center, go with dahlias. The spherical, symmetrical pattern of petals will thrill the recipient, much like a ride on Spaceship Earth.
Magnolias are a gorgeous variety that most closely resemble a beautiful plate of nachos with some cheese and guac in the middle. The magnolia petals beautifully and asymmetrically curl up on the edges much like the chips do.
Peonies are large and have many layers that are beautifully fanned out, much like Outback Steakhouse’s Bloomin’ Onion. Imagine someone right now handed you a hot Bloomin’ Onion. That feeling you’d have is the exact feeling your valentine would get if handed a bunch of peonies. That’s pretty good.
The flower that looks most like Hostess’s Snoball has to be the chrysanthemum. Much like the Snoballs, it comes in a variety of colors and is a tightly packed ball of fun. If there’s one flower variety I could throw the farthest, I think it’s this one.
Ranunculus look like a tightly wound extension cord to me. It’s amazing how much flower they pack into this flower – this seems like a good deal.
It is very beautiful and it looks like a drawing of a rose that a jr. high art student kept adding more and more layers to.
Hydrangeas are easy to remember because of the mythical hydra beast. It’s really amazing when you buy a bouquet of hydrangeas because you’ll think there are going to be dozens of stems when you take the paper off, but it turns out to be only 2 or 3. These crazy flowers really fool you!
Orchids are perhaps the coolest flower to me because of how unique and elegant they are. They remind me of Darth Vader’s Meditation Chamber in The Empire Strikes Back.
Also like the chamber, these things are pretty cumbersome and you can’t carry them around (they’re sold in pots generally.)
Sunflowers, it turns out, actually can be bought and given to someone. It’s easy to remember sunflowers because they look like the sun and look at the sun.
Consider pairing the bouquet with a bag of sunflower seeds, like a theme gift.
Tulips are sleek, spaceship like things that come in amazing electric colors. In this way they resemble Nerf Footballs to me. I love the idea of giving tulips because it really looks like you a cartoon character when you hold a bunch of these.