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Mr. Holmes Bakehouse is known for its croissant-muffin hybrid, the cruffin. The shop estimates between 200 and 300 recipes were stolen.
1. A popular bakery in San Francisco reported several hundreds of recipes stolen on Friday.
Employees on Friday morning arrived at Mr. Holmes Bakehouse in the Tenderloin to find the shop’s binders full of recipes missing, the San Francisco Chronicle reported.
The bakery’s owner estimated 200-300 recipes were taken sometime between Thursday evening and Friday morning. Nothing else was taken, and the bakery joked for its fans to be on the look out for any suspicious copycats.
2. The bakery is known for creating the cruffin, a muffin and croissant hybrid.
Pastry chef Ry Stephen told the Chronicle that he had back-ups of the recipes that were taken, so operations were not impacted beyond one batch of scones that did not get made.
3. On Facebook, the bakery assured fans it was alright after the “Cruffin Caper.”
“This is not a hoax,” the bakery added in another post.
Police told the Chronicle that there was no sign of forced entry, and authorities would be reviewing any surveillance footage in the area as well as talking with witnesses.
4. In the meantime, Mr. Holmes is back to selling out its pastries and getting customers baked.
5. “Recipes were stolen but we DONUT care.”
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This is a pretty obvious food thing to check out. Voodoo has become quite the popular tourist attraction in downtown Portland with people lining up MINUTES, and on a bad day, an HOUR to get a taste of these donuts. Voodoo helped pioneer the novelty donut craze with stores like Donut Friend and Donut Snob sprouting up all over Los Angeles’ hipper east side. For an extra four bucks you can get the “Cock-and-Balls” personalized (see above picture taken by my 80 year old grandfather). I personally recommend the eponymous raspberry jelly filled Voodoo donut.
2. Ground Kontrol
Located nearly two blocks away from downtown’s Voodoo is the classic arcade Ground Kontrol. The interior feels like you’re walking around your Macbook’s lit-up keyboard. Err, well I guess a more relevant comparison would be you’re Jeff Bridges and you’re stuck in a computer’s mainframe. The cool (I mean it’s literally cold in the building) atmosphere and polygonal interior makes Ground Kontrol like no other arcade. Even the bathroom is a really great place to be (little lighting and Pacman tiles).
3. Killer Burger
Oh my God, guys. How wonderful is Killer Burger? There appears to be currently six locations, two in Washington. I digress, let us discuss the MAIN Killer Burger.* To add to the exclusivity of my visits to Killer Burger, I only get the “Jose Mendoza” burger because it is soooooo so good. I don’t need to try no other burger here, I peaked. It was a rainy day, typical, and I was wandering alone in Portland like a disenchanted Scarlett Johanssen à la Lost In Translation. Except of Tokyo however, my cityscape was damp and quiet Portland. ANYWAY, I came across this burger joint that was packed inside, I came in, and I asked the counter lady to recommend a burger. What goes in the Jose Mendoza, you ask? Delicious roasted green chilies, jack cheese, bacon, grilled onions, house sauce, and pickles, which I could do without. Please go here and treat yourself. You deserve it.
*the only one I’ve been to.
4. Drive Along the Pacific Coast
So you ate a bunch of food that’s bad for you, go on a drive and a hike! I came across a sweet little place called Smuggler’s Cove located in Oswald West State Park. Walking through the forest, you get to see banana slugs, huge mushrooms, decaying trees and a bunch of other fun stuff. Also, just step out of your car to admire the view, yeah?
5. North Bend, WA
This might only appeal to fans of David Lynch’s Twin Peaks. A three hour drive northeast of Portland will take you to Twede’s Cafe, the actual diner from the show. I wasn’t blown away by the cherry pie, and the coffee was pretty substandard, but seeing another Twin Peaks landmark, the scenic Smoqualine Falls, made up for my lack of “damn good coffee.”
6. The Waffle Window
Did you think I was done talking about food? WELL, hey the best waffles I’ve had in my life are in Southeast Portland. I was on Yelp, I mean, I suppose you can just do that instead of reading my article, and I came across this super highly rated place under the breakfast category. Waffle Window did not fail to deliver. Poor, uncultured Catherine did not even know what brie was, but she ordered the “Three B’s” because she heard the couple in front of her order it. Holy crap. These waffles are amazing. First, the waffle itself, a “pearl sugar waffle,” is so crisp, so sweet, so perfect. Then the toppings, thick cut slabs of bacon, slices of brie cheese, chopped basil, and a side of peach jam just make this the most incredible breakfast experience. And then you can sit in the outdoor patio and make friends with neighborhood street cats. Heaven.
7. Movie Madness
This place boasts itself as having the “largest and most comprehensive collection of movies available to rent on DVD, Blu-Ray, and Video.” What’s more impressive is that the store has actual props and costumes from various films in its “Movie Madness Museum.” The soap used in Fight Club publicity campaigns was donated by director David Fincher. Even the Fu Dog Statue from Citizen Kane is here. And best of all, it’s free!
8. Mt. Hood, Powell’s Book Store, etc…
Grab your earbuds, you’re going on an adventure.
1. You MUST make sure your phone is charged before you leave the house.
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And if it isn’t, you consider staying home. There’s probably no reason to go out when you can learn how a diving bell works with the Stuff You Should Know podcast, right?
2. You’ve deleted photos/videos of treasured memories to make room for more podcasts.
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Really, who cares about your sister’s graduation when there’s a new episode of The Memory Palace about a guy who actually mailed himself to freedom in a box.
3. The songs that play during your favorite podcasts are the ones you listen to most.
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And you can recognize the tone of a story based on the interstitial music alone, like the peppy tunes used on the This American Life episode about Cars.
4. You have had a “driveway moment” that lasted through the end of one show and into the next one.
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It’s not like you can listen to a Radio Diaries teenage diary update without hearing the original, too.
5. You say “oh yeah, I heard that on a podcast” every time a current event or celebrity comes up.
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6. You get really excited to talk about a podcast you just listened to.
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And you can’t wait until your friends get into it, too, so you can swap favorites and nerd out the way shows like 99 Percent Invisible teach you to.
7. You know about a movie or TV show not because you watched it, but because you listened to a podcast about it.
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8. You know all the personal jokes and taglines from your favorite podcasts.
And you forgive them for being a little gimmicky once in a while: “Boomer Lives!” “My boys Maslow and Carver always have something to say.” “Daaaaaaana!” “Don’t be a Stranger.” “True stories, told live, without notes.”
9. You know which day your favorite podcast comes out and download it the second it’s available.
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And you have a favorite day because of that podcast.
10. Podcasts have become an integral part of your routine and it feels like something is missing when you miss one.
11. The thought of working out without a podcast to listen to is devastating to you.
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And you feel extra inspired when the podcast you’re listening to matches your workout, like stepping on the treadmill and hearing the Third Coast Re:Sound Podcast’s Running Show.
12. In fact, the thought of doing most chores without a podcast to listen to is almost unbearable.
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It’s almost better to just order in and listen to Al Yancovic explain the myths behind his foodie songs on The Sporkful if you can’t listen to podcasts while cooking.
13. And sometimes you invent things to do just so you can listen for a few more minutes.
What’s another Moth story if you end up getting all your laundry folded?
14. Kicking back and relaxing looks something like this:
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Little known fact: Julia Roberts was jamming out to the “Don’t Leave me This Way” episode of Soul Music while recording that scene.
15. You feel special knowing the stories behind your favorite books.
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And you’re charmed by how self-effacing and smart your favorite writers are, like Susan Orlean on the Longform Podcast.
16. Your love of podcasts has also helped you form some of your most ardent political opinions.
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17. You have cracked up in public while listening to a podcast.
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So what if people think you’re crazy? Ronna and Beverly would have no regrets.
18. And there have been times when you had to take a break from a podcast to shed a few tears.
And you know the ones that are going to make you ugly cry, like Storycorps.
19. You know more about Audible, Stamps.com, Squarespace and so many other random companies than you will ever need to.
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But you don’t hate, because they are making your favorite podcasts happen. (But really, WHO IS LEASING POSTAGE METERS? IT IS 2014 PEOPLE.)
20. You know the joy that comes from making up characters in your head to go with the stories you’re hearing.
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And you’re excited that you can create an entire universe, like Night Vale.
21. Podcasts have taught you some important life skills.
How to write with Grammar Girl! How to order a soda with Coffee Break Spanish! How to work out with Ben Greenfield! How to be less poor with Planet Money! The possibilities are endless and the price is right (that’s $0 money down, people.)
22. You have very strong opinions about the strengths and weaknesses of various podcast apps.
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And you know which one is the worst, hands down.
23. You feel like you know your favorite podcast hosts really well.
24. You’ve evangelized to your friends about how many great stories are out there, waiting for them.
And there’s nothing more satisfying when their minds are blown by pieces like Ministry of Presence on KCRW’s UnFictional.
25. Old people think you’re some kind of computer genius for listening to podcasts (or helping them download them.)
26. But really you know you’ve got something in common with past generations, because you can get into the pleasure of listening.
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Walter Murch said it, and it’s true: hearing is the first of the senses to be turned on.
So keep up your love of podcasts. It will take you far.
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(But don’t forget to charge your phone.)
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